Death By Cyclical Music Resurrection
And the first seal broke and they said BEHOLD, and from that spat forth hair bands and all that is glam metal. Look, I'll be the first person to admit to owning, listening and even enjoying [some] hair bands from the 80's. I even worked for Crimson Glory, though I'd try convince myself that the were not exclusive to the genre. The larger question for me still lies in why can these things keep coming back like a bad STD.
Admittedly, there were a great many reasons why you would be consumed by the menace:
- You hated everything in mainstream music at the time
- Typically each band had one incredibly talented guitarist or drummer
- You wanted to try to get laid by 'dirty' rocker chicks (face the truth losers)
- You're parent where hippies and this was as anti-establishment as it got in the 80's
- You could where bananas on your leg and not get shot for being a color in a gang
- If you grew your hair long you could do the 'flip thing'
- Jean jackets were simply cool
Now, don't get in my face and tell me I didn't know or understand the time. My 'uniform' was jeans, chuck tailors and a Metallica t-shirt – I had one for every day in a month, no lie! So I damn near choked on my morning coffee when iTunes served up in the "Rock" section a band called "Steel Panther." I thought it was a joke, no really. THANK GOD IT WAS! I've only listened to one thirty second snippet to know that I you can never go back. All I could see was Will Ferrell in Starsky and Hutch asking for the Angry Dragon when I saw the band photo. I GET IT! Reach out to a new generation Justice, some people really liked that niche genre of music Justice. No, it's for making fun of and listening to (while in the car with the windows rolled up) at a volume that you won't get caught.
Think back everyone what do you keep in the darkest recesses of your past? Dungeons & Dragons? Modonna lookalike outfit maybe a Michael Jackson jacket? With that said there are some things that should remain in the Arc of the Musical Covenant. Or you're more than likely going to end up like the Nazi at the end of Raiders. Good riddance.
